And you call yourself human?!
Just What the [bleep] is yo' mama?
And you call yourself human?!
Just What the [bleep] is yo' mama?
All right! Get ready!
Urya oi urya oi urya oi
That mole of yours, the coloring is very light
Ro-man-ce
Ne, ne, ne, ne, necromancer!
That mole of yours, upon a closer look
has a single hair growing out of it
Ru ru ru ru rurururu!
I have a mole in the small of my back
Ro-man-ce
in the shape of the Big Dipper
Sei sei sei sei seiken koutai
My mole, compared to others, is a bit large
Ji ji ji ji ji!
Oh-tsu,oi Oh-tsu, oi!
Right now, the two moles
Your mole, my mole
Oh-tsu,oi Oh-tsu, oi!
Are joined together
Wait a minute- wai, wai,
Wai, wai, wai, wai, Wait a minute-
Ah, and you still act like a human?
Hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ah, well then, I'll say it clearly.
Hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ah, that's enough already, before I tear out that mole!
Buchi!
And you call yourself human?
What the [bleep] is yo' mama?!
Hey, more power! Where's that [bleep]?!
And you call yourself human?
What the [bleep] is yo' mama?!
And you call yourself human?
What the [bleep] is yo' mama?!
No good. You're not in sync. And what happened to your voices?
At this rate, we'll never be ready for Otsu's December concert.
Are you listening?!
Maybe you've gotten lazy just because Otsu's become a national idol?!
There's no doubt we're not the only ones rooting for Otsu.
But we've backed her up long before she became popular.
We are the pillars of support for Tsu Terakado!
Let's put more pride into our routine!
R-Right!
Especially you, sergeant!
You're an officer, yet... Huh?
U-Umm... He's checking his email over there.
Seems he met a girl.
And they email each other about everything.
What?! He's a sergeant and he's emailing a friend?!
Get this! Email is the devil's tool!
My boyfriend jilted me and I'm so lonely. I could use some consoling.
Work is so hectic, my spirit has run dry. Let's enjoy some good wine together.
Is it okay if I call you "Brother"?
Lies, all of it! Bloody lies!
It's not like that. They met through some blog or nixi and...
[Note: nixi is a parody of the Japanese social networking site "mixi".]
B-B-Blog?!
Crap like, where and what you do and eat every day;
you had an argument with so-and-so; that guy is such a pest;
I dread tomorrow's test.
You write a comment and you get a comment back.
Oh, you're friends? You're great chums?
Wrong!
Huh? Well?! nixi?!
Like it's a great miracle or something?!
You can make any false claim you want on it!
Just how naive are you anyway?!
And the girl's probably some ugly hoe whose picture has been totally retouched.
W-Well...
They first met through an Otsu-chan forum and she's really cute.
He told her that he was a sergeant in the Fan Club,
and she was so impressed and she's the one who started to chat with him.
Hey! Ever since she released the song,
"Your Sister's On A Dating Website," her popularity with women has skyrocketed, remember?
Huh?
We meant to bring it up later,
but maybe we can have a girl's division of Fan Club?
G-Girl's division?
We want Otsu to gain worldwide fame.
A song princess like Beyonce loved by everyone,
young and old, male and female!
Our happiness is Otsu's happiness.
Doesn't that mean, her happiness is our happiness?!
Our happiness is Otsu-chan's?
C-Captain!
Sergeant! Recite Article 23 of the Tsu Terakado Fan Club Bylaws!
Owwww! It says, "Secret communication with women is forbidden!
Anyone breaking this rule will be deemed a spy." Sir!
Correct! Sergeant, you are an officer.
Yet you broke this rule!
Thus...!
You are sentenced to
the Nose Hook Destroyer Final Dream!
Hey!
[Do you want to delete the selected messages?] [Yes No]
Yes...
Show me all your cell phones.
I-I don't... We don't email girls.
A-And I don't need a cell phone.
Y-Yeah! Who needs this thing!
I wouldn't email a girl!
Besides, my cell phone is broken!
I don't need this!
Right! Quit emailing girls and acting like wimps!
We're not jealous of anything like that, right?!
Right!
Who cares about emails! Correspondence! Quit acting so soft!
Right!
If you're men... if you're men...
beat your own chests and declare your love!
Right!
Otsu-chan! We love you!
That's right. That's being men!
The written word cannot convey our feelings!
Say it directly! Out loud!
Written messages are crap!
What's this?
Did it wash up with the waves?
There's something inside.
Do you believe in destiny? I do.
After all, you're reading this now, aren't you?
Will you correspond with me?
Correspond... Correspond...
Damn it! Thank you! Thank you so much!
[Note: Parody of Sanji's line to "Red Foot" Zeff in ONE PIECE.]
[To whom it may concern: We're sorry about the week before last week.]
[All told, we're starting second half of GinTama Anime 3rd yearrrrr!!]
["Some Things Can Only Be Conveyed Through the Written Word"]
Huh? Shinpachi is acting funny?
Shinpachi always acts weird, Sis.
I know, but it's more than usual.
Lately, he comes home and goes straight to his room. And he hardly talks.
And he doesn't sleep 'til morning...and seems intent on writing something?
Intent on writing?
Yes. There are crumpled balls of paper on the floor
and I just don't know what he's doing.
What is he writing so late at night?
Anyway, he's at a difficult age.
And I think a man like you should speak to him, Gin-san.
Can you go see what's up with him?
Just leave him alone.
When boys get to a certain age, family becomes a bother.
That's how they become independent.
Independent? Shinpachi, independent?
He's more helpless than a colt at birth.
She's right. Becoming independent is fine.
But what is he doing cooped up in his room?
Is that necessary in becoming self-reliant?
By independent, I mean... Standing up.
Being alone and well...
Hmm... How should I start this?
Writing a letter to a total stranger...
I don't know anything about her.
All I do know is...
Do you believe in destiny?
Heh...
Yes, I do! I really believe in it! Yes, that's how I'll start.
Shinpachi.
Yes! Gin-san! You're here?!
Hey, don't worry about your sister too much.
Huh? What're you saying?
One more thing
make sure you wash your hands.
Get your mind out of the gutter!
What are you thinking? You're totally mistaken. I'm not like that!
And why're you acting nicer than usual? It gives me the creeps!
Huh?! You're not?
You're not into this stuff?
Oh man, I was wrong. Absolutely wrong.
Sorry you had to come for nothing. You can go.
Hey! What's the big idea?
What did you think I was doing in my room?!
Where'd you find them anyway?!
Hey, you forgot this!
Wanna use it?
For what?!
Sis, what are you boiling?
It's nothing, Kagura.
Writing? Then you've been writing letters at night?
Man, you're such a kid.
Please don't tell my sister.
If she finds out I'm writing letters to a girl, it would be uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable? Why? Are you thinking of doing something bad?
No way! That's exactly the kind of conclusion I don't want.
I want to know her on a purely platonic level.
Know her how?
It's friendship! Friendship!
Youth is all about friendship, perseverance, victory!
I mean, think about it.
It crossed the vast ocean and reached me! It must be destiny.
But if Sis finds out about it, she'll say I lack morals and get angry.
That's not true.
Your sister is pretty understanding about things like that.
No, she's not.
Shin-chan.
Sister?!
I brought some tea and sweets, so have some.
Here...
Just in case, it's not enough.
This is...stringy konjac root.
Huh?
Shin-chan... Shin-chan... No matter what you do, you'll always be my little brother.
You see? She's very understanding.
What the hell is she thinking?!
Just what did you tell my sister?!
What's this lotion doing with the tea?!
And why does this konjac root have a hole in it?!
She has it totally wrong!
And she didn't look me in the eye! Not once!
How're you gonna fix this?! How can we face each other now?!
Now, now. Calm down.
She gave you lotion.
That means you'll have time in private, to write. I'd say that's great.
It's not great! I'd rather have her find out about the letters!
This has such a grown-up taste.
There's lots more if you want seconds.
And? Just what did you write anyway? Let's see.
Never mind! Stop!
"How do you do? I read your letter. Isn't it strange?
It crossed a vast ocean and reached me"
Hey, this is it?! It's too long and so ordinary.
So what?! What's the use of putting on a pretense? It's a letter.
You want to get to know this girl, right?
You want to get close to her, right?
You have to show off.
Huh? Show off?
Look, she tossed her letter-in-a-bottle into the ocean
hoping to find a random pen-pal.
How much more showy can you get?
And this brief message.
Unconventional women like her get bored quickly.
She won't read more than three sentences.
I guess my letter is too long and doesn't get to the point.
Since you don't know anything about her,
you need to say something about yourself.
And you can introduce yourself in three sentences.
And add a photo, just like she did.
I see, I guess so.
But can I really introduce myself in only three sentences?
Sure you can. Just keep it simple and easy to understand.
How's this?
[Shinpachi Shimura] [I changed my glasses.]
That tankobon?!
This is the back cover of a graphic novel! I've seen it before!
Why is the writer's most recent photogragh only of his glasses?!
Because if the writer reveals himself, it lowers the value of his work.
In the past, JUMP would include photos
of the creators in their New Year's issue.
But somewhere along the way, it stopped, right?
And that's the reason why.
Don't be so rude!! And not only that,
there's only one sentence, not three.
And the photo and the sentence only focuses on my glasses.
Well, I thought about what to write,
but there were only your glasses that were out of the ordinary.
Out of the ordinary?!
You know, you're sort of a flat person with only those glasses that stand out.
I tried to bring that out somehow, but this is the limit.
Am I such a sorry human being?!
No, it's actually better since there's lots of room for imagination.
It conveys something deeper, something more fashionable.
What's deep about only saying that I've changed glasses?!
And besides, I haven't bought new glasses.
All right, then how about this?
[I changed. My glasses. You know. -Shinpachi Shimura]
Much more substance, right? And there are the three sentences.
You just broke it up!
There's not even a millimeter more in substance!
All it says is that I bought new glasses.
And let me repeat again, I haven't bought new glasses!
In order to make it interesting, a little fabrication is necessary.
On television, that type of thing could get you kicked out of the TV federation!
Only someone clueless to the situation would say that.
A little acting is necessary here.
Well, this letter is not interesting at all!
If you're gonna make a production out of it, add a little polish!
Three sentences!
To make an impact, there's gotta be at least three sentences.
Three sentences, huh? Well, I'll try.
[Thank you for sending me so many glasses. I will wear them along with the S.]
How's this?
That's like an insert in the Table of Contents in JUMP!
It's straight from the magazine!
Why's it like a Valentine's greeting?
What's this about "so many glasses"?!
And this "S"?! What "Staff"?!
That doesn't mean staff. It stands for S as in Shinpachi.
Shut up! Only Shinpachi wears glasses! Nothing's been changed!
It's completely off the mark.
If I send this, she wouldn't think it's a letter to her,
but rather an acknowledgment that I received glasses.
Let's just start over. From the very beginning.
Oh, I guess you're right.
From the start, Shinpachi.
Just as you said, go back to the beginning and think it over.
Think back, Shinpachi.
What is it about this letter that captured you?
Yes. It's not the unconventional way it was sent nor the brief message.
Wasn't it this?
N-No! I don't judge people by their looks.
Well then, let me ask you.
If this girl happened to be ugly, would you think about replying?
Uh...
So you see?
No matter how hard you wrack your brains to come up with the perfect lines,
ultimately what counts is...
What you see!
I can't argue with that.
But, if that's so, a loser like me hasn't got a chance.
Shinpachi, take off your glasses.
It's no use. Even if I take off my glasses, I...
Shinpachi, a healthy soul manifests itself on one's exterior too.
Soul?
Take heart. You have a good soul.
Gin-san...
I will! I'll do it!
What do you think of something like this?!
Hey, that's good. Yes, yes, yes, yes!
A little more to the left.
Okay, smile, Shinpachi-kun.
Photograph me! Shinpachi-kun is right here!
Assault Buster!
You're wrong.
These glasses make up 95% of you, Shinpachi.
In fact, these are more Shinpachi than you.
You're saying I only make up 5%?!
Well, 3% is water, 2% is garbage.
You're labelling me garbage?! Or maybe, I'm not even 2%?
[Shinpachi Shimura] [I bought new glasses.]
More importantly, this is exactly the same as before!
Except the reasoning is different!
Yeah, but the ones hanging on this tree are nice. It's got substance.
Put them on me!
But there's just something missing.
Damn right! They're not on me!
Isn't there a better scenario?
Not this. Not this either.
Which one is most like Shinpachi?!
All right! This is it!
Is Kondo-san here?
That's a different person!!
They turned out pretty cool, Shinpachi.
That's not Shinpachi. What? Should I just die?
Sister! Look! Look! Really!
It really came, a letter for you!
You got a reply to your letter!
This can't be happening. Someone really picked up the letter.
Let me see! Let me see!!
What does it say, Sister?!
"I received your letter. I'm looking forward to our correspondence from now on."
"My name is
Shinpachi Shimura."
[To Be Continued]
[Preview]
My brother, Shinpachi-kun, is worried about his relationship?!
Then this is where I, Kondo, the Love Expert, come in!
Shut up, stalker!!
That's not happening.
Please come back and do your work.
All of you?! How cruel!!
The next episode... "Sometimes You Must Meet to Understand."
[Somehow, the Shinsengumi get involved in Shinpachi's letter-writing lessons.]
[One misunderstanding leads to another. What happens to Shinpachi's correspondence?]
Uh... it seems we still have another minute left.
Shh! Stay quiet, Shinpachi!
We're on a mission here. A mission.
A mission?
Last week, when they broadcasted the part with one image and only audio.
I suspect, the big guys up there...
Yelled "You didn't spend any money on this episode at all!
We'll lower your production budget!!"
True, we were able to finish the episode on the cheap.
But, think about it.
For those episodes, the staff put in a lot of effort and created more images.
Costs went over-budget and need to be paid immediately.
We're actually losing money creating those episodes.
It's not fair.
Oh well, what can you do.
So! What if we show one minute of background with
only audio after the actual episode every week.
Then... hey, presto!
In six months, we'd have one episode worth of background art with only audio.
Ooh, I see! That's even more pernicious!!
I knew it wouldn't work.
And time's up as we speak.
[Unchanging and unapologetic.]
[The third season of the GinTama anime goes in to its third year with high ratings!!]